Are you worried that you might need a new therapist? Therapists are generally pretty nice people who have a good balance of professionalism. But, now and then, you can come across a therapist who just doesn’t fit. There could be a few reasons for this. Firstly, you might not respond well to their therapy methods or style. That’s okay; it’s not a bad reflection on them. Or, they might just be terrible at their job. Either way, here are some indicators that you might need to find a new therapist.

What should a good therapist do?

Have you ever heard the question, does a fish know it’s wet? Basically, it means if you’ve lived with something your whole life, it becomes the standard. So, if you’ve only experienced a bad therapist, you might not even know that they’re bad. A good therapist should:

• Has empathy and understands and shares the feelings of others
• Fully concentrates on you during sessions and responds thoughtfully
• Maintains confidentiality and builds trust with you
• Remains calm and composed, giving clients time to process
• Clearly expresses thoughts and listens to you effectively
• Respect and understand cultural differences
• Will help clients find practical solutions to their issues
• Adapts to the unique needs of each client
• Accepts clients without judgment
• Recognises and manages personal biases and emotions
• They should have psychology courses and qualifications

Signs that you need a new therapist

Now that you have a basic idea of what a good therapist should do let’s look at the contrast between a good therapist and a bad therapist. This should indicate whether you need to find a new therapist or not yet:

They don’t respect you

You might get a therapist who doesn’t fully respect different cultures. While therapist are usually supposed to keep their own opinions in check, you might experience one who has stereotypes about a certain culture.

Now, this is okay if they keep it to themselves, but if they allow those views to filter into their sessions with you, then there’s a red flag. Listen for if your therapist makes negative remarks on sexual orientation, race, religion or other matters that have to do with a person’s identity. This kind of talk is unprofessional for a therapist to engage in.

They have unethical practices

Due to the nature of therapy, therapists have the potential to put themselves in compromising positions. That’s why there are so many regulations around how they need to deal with patients. In some cases, therapists could act unethically. The most basic example of this is not honouring the client’s personal information. Say, for instance, you open up to your therapist about something, and then they gossip about it. This is unethical and unprofessional. Likewise, if they betray your trust or violate their own professional code of conduct, you should consider finding another therapist.

They are unreliable

Having a busy schedule is understandable; we all lead busy lives, but when a therapist constantly has to reschedule or arrives late for a session, something is up. Either they’re terrible at time management, or they showing you that they don’t fully value your time or situation. Just to clarify, we’re talking about a therapist who has a habit of doing these things, not necessarily making a mistake once or twice.

They are judgemental

Therapists aren’t there to give their opinions and judgements that are unrelated to a medical solution for your situation. If your therapist judges you based on any factor like religion, gender, or even your profession, then you should consider looking for another one. Not only is this unprofessional, but it’s also discriminatory. As a professional, they should never try to swing you to their bias.

There’s also more to this, though. If you feel judged by your therapist, it makes the session more uncomfortable and could interfere with your willingness to open up about other issues. If you’re unable to settle this issue with your therapist, the solution is to move on and find another one.

They aren’t specialised

Now, this isn’t to say your therapist isn’t good at what they do, but more to say that they might not be qualified to deal with the mental health issue you’re facing. Say, for instance, that you came out of an abusive home. Over the years, the trauma might have built up in a different way, and to work through it, you might have to see a trauma specialist. In most cases, a good therapist would refer you to a specialist if it was a condition they couldn’t treat effectively.

They are forceful

As we mentioned earlier, therapists are supposed to be patient and great at listening. Now, the opposite of that is forceful, pushy, and always punting solutions down your throat. Most times, therapy is a process, and your therapist wouldn’t try to force you to tell them about your darkest moments without building up to it first.

So, if your therapist is pushing you to open up before you’re ready, and they don’t respect the fact that you’re not ready, then this might be a sign that you need a new therapist.  

They are too passive

This might sound like it contradicts the last point, but is your therapist too passive? In therapy, sometimes patients need a nudge in the right direction to have a breakthrough. If your therapist is too scared to challenge you constructively, then you might never have the breakthrough you’re there for. It’s best to find a therapist who’s skilled at gently getting you from A to B during your sessions. This requires a healthy balance between being challenging and patient.  

Final Thoughts

Just before we close off, we need to make a disclaimer. If you look hard enough, you could probably find fault with any therapist. So, if you pick up on any of these signs, address it with your therapist before leaving, especially if it’s one of the less serious issues. If they’re unreceptive, then you have your answer. However, most professionals will understand that finding the right therapist is kind of like dating; they might not be the right fit for you, and that’s okay.